one time in China...

My adorable neighbor gave me a tiny jar of sweet and sour jam that she made herself and it was absolutely delicious. I would eat a spoonful with coffee in the morning until it ran out. 

My vegetable lady would get mad at me if I bought veggies from anyone else at the market. She would save cilantro for me so I could make salsa. 

I shared my umbrella with a woman walking in the rain, carrying a kid on her back for 3 blocks and when we parted ways the kid gave me a high five. 

I gave city directions to a country mouse in Chinese. She wanted to know which subway stop to use to get to the mall and useless police didn't know, but I knew and I helped her and felt like A BILINGUAL GENIUS. 

A woman on the bus offered to hold my heavy bag of books for me because she had a seat and I was standing and it was disgustingly uncomfortably crowded. 

I wrote an English note to a taxi driver's daughter on a scrap of paper because he said she's a very good student and studies English very hard. I'll never meet her but her dad was SO excited. 

I gave my DVD copy of Ella Enchanted to jam lady neighbor because her 9yr old granddaughter's English name is Ella.

An anciently old woman put a piece of candy in my mouth with her bare hand at a temple when I leaned closer to have a look and it was gross but I bought some anyways.

I ate a sea slug in a fancy restaurant and it was so fucking delicious I can't wait to have it again. 

I loaned my friend 100RMB because he just had to had to had to buy this girl a drink and now they're happily married and raising a cat named Turkey Sandwich. 

I fell in love with a little black and white cow puppy. He crawled behind me on the chair at the pet store and pinched my hip with his tiny puppy teeth and I've been his slave ever since. 

I briefly joined a Muay Thai club and the head coaches name was Kay. At first I thought he was just saying "okay, okay, okay" and so to explain to me his name he sang the ABC song and stopped at the letter K. So sometimes the whole gym would sing the ABC song to me when I would show up to work out. So funny you guys. Just hilariously impossibly so so so funny and fun. 

One time I messed up my schedule and missed a class and the entire school conspired to cover for me. Nothing happened, I didn't get in trouble and no one ever even brought it up.